Top 10 Weird (and Not-So-Weird) Benefits of Using a Bidet
Bidets are those fancy bathroom sprayers that we side-eye while folks out in Asia, Europe, and parts of the Middle East enjoy next-level cleanliness. You may have heard the classic arguments for bidets: “They’re better for the environment” or “They save you money on toilet paper." The truth is, a whole hidden world of perks comes with using a Fanny bidet, ranging from the sensible to the slightly bizarre. Here’s our rundown on the top 10 benefits of using a bidet.
1. Cleanliness You Didn’t Know You Were Missing
Look, toilet paper has its limits. It’s like trying to mop a floor with a dry paper towel. You wipe and wipe and hope you got everything. With a bidet, you’re getting a real cleanse. Imagine coming out of the bathroom feeling clean and fresh, not just hoping for the best. Also, because you are cleaning your butt without using your hands, you aren’t getting fecal matter on your hands, thus reducing the spread of bacteria and germs. Once you’ve experienced this level of cleanliness, you’ll start to wonder how the rest of the world copes with just paper. It’s like taking a shower every time you’re done with #2.
2. Save the Planet, One Flush at a Time
For anyone out there recycling cans and composting, have you thought about your toilet paper habit? Bidets reduce toilet paper use by up to 80%. That’s fewer trees getting turned into something we throw away. It's estimated that around 800-1,000 rolls of toilet paper come from one tree. With the average person using about 140 rolls per year, we are talking about 100s of millions of trees being chopped down every year. So while others are out there hugging trees, you can rest easy knowing you’re saving them one refreshing bidet rinse at a time. Switching to a bidet is practically an eco-superpower. We should add, that there are some better TP options out there, like Bambooty bamboo TP and Rebooty recycled TP.
3. Cut Back on Your TP Budget (Who Knew?)
You’re already paying for water, so why not get your money’s worth by letting it do the work for you? A bidet attachment may have a one-time cost of $60 to $120, but then you’re saving money on toilet paper, possibly hundreds of dollars a year. We’ve done the math; the average bidet will cost less than $2.50 in water per year, while the average family spends anywhere from $300-$500 per year on TP. It’s like you’re getting paid to be clean, which is a rare (and glorious) thing. And the best part? No more frantic trips to the store because your stash of TP is running low and no more getting angry at your kids or significant other because they left one sheet on the roll of TP and didn't bother to switch it out for a new roll.
4. Be Kind to Your Behind
If you’ve ever winced at the wrong choice of toilet paper (we’re looking at you, public bathroom single-ply), a bidet might be the answer to your prayers. Using water instead of paper means no more dry, scratchy situations. For those dealing with skin sensitivities or conditions (like hemorrhoids), bidets offer a level of relief and gentleness that TP could never dream of. Bidets also offer a notable degree of relief for constipation. They can soften anal tissue and reduce anal resting pressure, which can help relieve constipation. Hands down, bidets are the kinder, gentler option.
5. Say Goodbye to Plumbing Nightmares
Ever flushed a little too much TP and felt that sinking feeling as the water rose dangerously high? With a bidet, you’re using no toilet paper, unless you’re using it to pat yourself dry, meaning fewer clogs and plumbing disasters. Your pipes will stay clear, your septic tank will thank you, and your plunger will start gathering dust in the corner. Because honestly, who wants a reminder of that last plumbing mishap? Not us, thank you.
6. Bidet Users Know They’re Superior, and They’ll Probably Tell You About It
Using a bidet unlocks a secret level of smugness. Before long, you’ll find yourself explaining the joys of bidet use to anyone who will listen. “Oh, you still use toilet paper?” you’ll ask with a raised eyebrow. It’s a badge of honor in the bathroom world. Non-bidet users will be pitied, and you’ll feel like you’ve joined an exclusive, ultra-clean club. Welcome to the big leagues.
7. Helps with “Spicy” Situations
Some foods just aren’t as kind to us on the way out as they were on the way in. Think of a bidet as your best friend after a taco night that went too far. It’s gentle, soothing, and frankly the only tool for the job. Just one press of that bidet button or one turn of the knob on your Fanny bidet, and you’ll feel human again in no time. A lifesaver for anyone who loves a bit of spice or dares to indulge their late-night Taco Bell cravings and isn’t too proud to admit the consequences.
8. Temperature Control, Because You’re Fancy Now
If you really want to live a life of luxury, some bidets, like Fanny Hotshot, offer a warm water option. No more cold-water shocks that remind you of that freezing lake or pool as a kid. Instead, you’ll have a warm, soothing stream that feels like a mini vacation, just without the airfare. This is the future of bathroom luxury and it’s available to anyone ready to invest a few extra bucks.
9. Kid-Friendly, Elder-Friendly, Basically Friendly for Everyone
Bidets aren’t just for the adults in the house; they’re great for kids, seniors, and everyone in between. For the kids just learning the ropes of hygiene, a bidet takes the guesswork out of getting clean. For elderly or disabled family members who need a little extra help, bidets offer an easier, more thorough cleaning method. It’s truly the most multi-use bathroom upgrade out there, catering to everyone who needs a little help using the bathroom.
10. Let’s Be Honest; It’s Just Plain Fun
For something as simple as spraying water, bidets are surprisingly enjoyable to use. You’ll probably find yourself talking about your new bathroom experience more than you’d like to admit. Before long, you’ll wonder why everyone doesn’t have one. Is it a touch of weird excitement? Maybe. But hey, life’s too short not to enjoy the little things, even if they’re in the bathroom.
So What's the Final Word?
Bidets aren’t just for tree-huggers or germaphobes, they’re for anyone ready to move past the archaic toilet paper routine of yesterday. Think of bidets as the VIP pass to a cleaner, greener, and more awesome bathroom experience. So go ahead, elevate your hygiene game with a Fanny bidet. Your wallet will finally stop hemorrhaging cash on toilet paper, the environment will thank you (no more sacrificing forests for TP), and you can sleep well knowing that your hands and anything they touch are cleaner thanks to your bidet.